A fear grips me now. Since monday morning...I shall begin from the beginning. I had my class chalet over the weekend and it ended on sunday morning. I was extremly fatigued so had an early night on sunday was probably sleeping at 11. woke up at 4 am to pee and checked my phone and saw that there was 5 msg's. I thought it might have been nora but it wasn't...it was edith. 5 msg's...consecutively as well. I skimmed through the msg's and apparently she had broken up with her bf. She wanted to talk and it was the firsts time in over 2 yrs that I've seen her this upset. What made me even more worried...she pleaded for me to wake up to speak to her...if i recalled correctly "alv pls wake up now and call me.. pls.." . Immediatly I replied and I told her i won't sleep just in case she should reply and still require of me to be there. She replied at 6+ and Then came the consolling. It seemed that she and her bf were somewhat beyond a patch. For the whole day I was worried and wondering if she was fine. Went out with nora and told her what happened, she had this extremly sad look on her face and i don't blame her she knows what i used to feel for edith and edith is the only girl i've ever spoken with so much attachment. Msg'ed edith last night asking why she had seeked me out? why of all people and why she had chosen to find me after such a long time...her exact reply was "I dunno.. maybe coz i felt that u were de best person i could turn to and that i know u would be there for me.." It was then and there that my fear of old feelings for her returning elevated. Honestly I'm afraid..very afraid...she's coming to SP to study this july and nora is worried that I might change and go back to edith. In a way you could say she has little faith when it comes to edith but I dun blame her cos deep in me 3/4 of me is to nora but the rest still lays with edith for obvious reasons...I once loved her and that sting still remains. Dawn..your words now surge through me..."she was making use of you" and yea I think you are right but then what if she isn't? I really really wanna ask her if 2 yrs back she did make use of me. My friends...those closest to me...you should all know why I'm so afraid. In a sense...that girl is a legend in her own right. None of you have ever met her and all I ever had for her was compliments. I seek all of those who read my blog to leave your advice on my tag board. So one of my dreams came through...I once dreamed she came to SP to study...I told myself it was impossible she's in AJ but now i'm wrong...so wrong....would this be a dream...or would it be a nightmare...Pls advice me now my friends.