Heylo guys doing a post on a weekday is something rare but since I've got nothing to do might as well update. Today...hm...what can I say...kinda a twist of fate for me. Let me start off...in my 2nd yr as a poly student, only 3 girls in my poly have ever caught my attention and held onto it. 2 of them resemble edith in certain ways and another is just plain pretty. One of the 2 that resembles edith let me re-enact the encounter......I was going down the coridoor and she was coming in my opposite direction, she sport a short hair cut and the look on her face was almost the same as the one which edith had the night we went for dinner...I could never imagine that I would actually get to know her name and shake her hand as I did today..whoops I am jumping too far ahead. Anyway...my class rep Ronny knows cherie who just so happens to be a friend of that girl. All along I knew that girl was a year older and she was attached. Dear Ronny said that cherie and that girl were at the Plaza and the grl didn't mind knowing me, as usual I panicked and I can list the same reasons I gave Ronny, 1) I looked like shit cos I have a bad pimple outbreak, 2) I was in berms and some mis-matched top, 3) I was wearing sandals and walking like a slob in it, 4) i didn't bother combing my hair and it looked more like the amazon rainforest, 5) I was not prepared to meet her. Yet ronny, shuai feng and Zaw told me to just do it cos I may never get such an oppetunity again. I comtemplated and decided to go down with much hesitation. When I saw her I panicked again and I went to a different table with shuai feng and Zaw while ronny went to talk to cherie. Boy you should have seen my face, i could feel the heat going to my entire face. I just decked my entire face onto the table and refused to lift it. Ronny came back and said the 2 ladies were waiting and I panicked again. It wasn't until then that i learnt her name was Joanna...interesting name....anyway...Ronny and the 2 guys finally convinced me to approach her. I did and I walked up to her...the only time i actually looked at her was to say my name and shake her hand...man...her hand was like porcelain and it was really really...a femanine hand-shake something which took my breathe away. I didn't look at her after that and neither did I say much besides making a fool of myself...as u should notice by now I have low-selfesteem. Sigh...when they left I wass feeling down cos I felt so stupid!!!!!. Dumbo....sigh....but at least she knows my presence and that would be all enough for me. Her resemblence to edith is...strong? You could probably wonder why I still see the images of edith in the people I see and relate them back to her. Anyone can wonder but no one will know the answer for I don't know myself. Hm..so this is my day i guess...Ronn'y having lunch wiht cherie and possibly her so hopefully i can tag along but let me make myself clear on this matter...I do not have anything for her no feelings nothing what-so-ever. Wanna know why? read on

Lately...I've seem to have lost the drive to flirt and stuff...its been 2 weeks since I've shown interest in anything relating to emotions. I may talk about it once in a while but truly...the drive is gone. I don't know why but maybe its because of the fact that I'm only interested in developing friendships then ruining them by having a relationship with anyone. Sigh..well guess this is all i can for today...thanks for being patient and reading tilll the end.