Loneliness.

The miserable plague of which I feel. The sign of emptiness that keeps me pushing and thristing for the attention of those around me. Pity..i don't have that.

I think its a thing about my birth right. People born under the star don't like being alone. Always wanting people around them. But yea...people...as my friends find partners and jobs and slowly all of them drift from me, I find it most depressing many of them no longer take the initiative to drop a call and say "Hey, how are you doing?" For those who mean so much to my heart and still make that effort...thank you. I never got around to saying it much but thank you.

I have never immersed myself in the attention of guys nor have I been particularly very close to any guy. Although there are 2 guys whom i thank god for meeting in this life time. Xing longz and Jerome. Longz was really a very good friend since sec sch. But our different natuers and the paths we chose lead us very differently. I don't have much to say with him but I think there's a silent bond between us that knos we'll be there for each other when it counts.

For Jerome, its been a great 6 yrs knowing him since SRJC. From the white uniform ah beng, to the toned tanned love-able nut.
Since Wei Tang, i've never really trusted guys much. Stupid right? But hey, each has his own reasons for everything. My poly classmates are really nice chaps but no one takes the effort to mantaining the bonds we shared. My army life was a horrible one (the guys in my unit are farking hum sup. They go for dirty bars and etc...) i wasn't too close to many but people like martin chee yong and a couple of others still amuse me.

sometimes i wonder. Is it because i don't make the effort to mantain the friendships i've made over the years, or are people just plainly unable to do so?

Loneliness... Will i continue being alone? Will i continue being the way i am? Lost?
Or will I find my guiding light soon.

Uni begins next monday 4th august. I certainly hope something changes there.
Or at least, just me.