-deep breathe-
well....I guess this is the first time I'll be writing this in a serious tone and with all my deep thoughts embedded. Lets start shall we? I don't know who might be reading this...or when or how. I don't really bother....i've been thining again...I think...I'll just be the man I can.....the best I can be and the best I can offer her, as my custom I will not reveal her name. Liking someone is easy but loving isn't as I've said before. The past few days I had the intention of giving up, but after close thinking.....I'll keep being the man I am.....be nice and whatever I can be for her......but, when I buckle from the stress, I won't show it I won't let her know. Instead, I shall disappear. I came from the shadows into her life and known her, and if I should not be able to handle my disappating feelings, I shall leave and disappear into the shadows. I mean, thats the way I've always been, hasen't it?With audrey, I guess....I grew up, and kinda not want to love anyone anymore. Deep inside I guess I don't really bother about emotions, love and bleha bleah, I'm just cold and hardened. Hm......although I claim I like her, do I? friends say I do but I'm abit unsure already, -shakes head and laughs- unsure.....what a word...when I've already said I like her and now saying I'm unsure she's just gonna think I'm un sincere....hm.....maybe I'm not I don't know. Mingyun was right, I keep so many things to myself, I guess she's right...but I once wasen't like that, I mean.....I used to turn to my friends and I guess now I just bottle things up. Silent and quiet....has that become of me? On the surface I smile and laugh, but I hjide alot as mingyun says. True. but I have my reasons. No one must know them. But one day....just one day......someone has to know. But the time isn't ripe for anyone yet. I don't know how to say or what to say anymore. I've given up on alot of things I guess. No longer the man I was or wanted to be. I'm now a shadow of myself.

-stretches-
well well another beautiful day...or is it? haha...in anywayz...lifes been rather boring...exmas studying exams studying. The routines pretty drab. Sighx....life just can't get anymore interesting until my freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next wednesday nite!!!!!!!! erm......then again........its gonna suck......wearing a tuxedo to school.......hm........definetly gonna suck. Wish my cousin wasen't getting married then. Haaahhahahaha. oh well.....nothing much to inform today besides the fact that the weather is bloody hot.

Lost

Half light half dark, totally unsure.
Take flight right now, giving it all.
Lose sight lose hope, get lost somehow.
Let me right now, leave it all.

*yawnz...
another day another dollar, I guess sometimes for me to love someone is alittle hard ever since the incident with shuhui years ago. Its funny isn't it? That after just one incident you just found it harder and harder to love. At this moment in time, liking someone is easy....but for me to wait for me to be patiently waiting for the person......aye.....its hard. Judging from incidents int eh past, I always ran away from the fact that I like someone, as lydia said: "I find that u always suppress ur feelings, then later on they come back hunting you". How true....right now.....I'm running away again. No point staying. Whoever that girl is....I won't disclose at all. My dear friends you can all keep guessing. In a way, I guess things between me and her would never even have anything to start, just a friendship which now appears alittle hollow. Think I'll go back to my flirtatious self once again, find someone, tell myself to love, but it just isn't true. Sounds evil yes I know. *sighx, life just dosen't get any better. oh well...wish she knew I missed her but just.....just don't wanna stay around anymore.

*sighx.....been a long day.... as usual gloria didn't reply sms hahaha....hai~ dunno why, but sometimes.....it just upsets me. Stupid Alex....hahaha sometimes he should think before he says anything, stella calls everyone darling and even if she calls me that it dosen't mean anything. Hahaha dumbo. Poor sheena....that guy's such an arsehole. There are things I wanna say but its better to keep it to myself since this is a public blog so much today though it felt like a short day. Oh well...mugging at 9 and god knows how long I can last studying. I hope long enough lol. Oh well...

If Only Tears Could Bring You Back:

How do I start, tomorrow without you here,
Whose heart will guide me, when all the answers disappear,
Is it too late, are you too far gone to stay,
Distance forever, should never have to go away,
What can I do, you know I'm only half without you,
How can I make it through...

-chorus-
If only tears could bring you back to me,
If only love could find a way,
What I would do what I would give if you,
Return to me someday somehow someway,
If my tears could bring you back.....to me,

I'd cry you an ocean, if you'd sail on home on it,
Winds of emotion, will carry you and all they can,
just let cloud guide you, and your heart will chart the course,
Soon you'll be drifting, into the arms of your true north,
Look in my eyes, you'll see a million tears have gone by,
And still they not dry,

-Chorus-

I'd hold you close, and shout the words,
My only wish would be for,
For one more chance, for one last dance,
There's lots of things, that I would love and hold,

-Chorus-

Good morning all....its 1:27 am on my clock and I'm suppose to be studyng but here I am updating my blog jsut cause I'm so freaking bored.....hai~~ I know the exams are coming but studying isn't my biggest traits. Oh well gotta force myself though I can feel myself drifiting into lala land. Sighx....oh heck.

Hahaha this has been a rather interesting day. Firstly I actually studied for more than 5 mins wow...hahaha a new record. I knew why I actually did though, there was a certain sense of motivation by someone and I kinda...felt a re-newed strength to go study. The person I won't mention the name but you know who you are cos you owe me kit kats! Another thing is that someone likes my buddy dawn! hahaha you go girl I knew you could do it hehe. Well I will update again later in teh day if I'm bored so keep a look out!

Hai~ day one of my "interesting" life.
Its funny how some thigns turn up. Never imagined myself to want to put up a blog but I guess tehres always a first time for everything yar?